It Doesn’t Get Better


“It gets better.” I’ve heard that phrase applied to all sorts of situations. I don’t like that phrase. Things don’t get better. We get better. Often times the only thing that can get better about a situation is our attitude.

Saying, “It gets better,” is almost an invitation to sit back and wait for life to work itself out. Don’t miss out on making your own results. Yes, we cannot instantly be happy by simply “choosing” to be happy. I know that’s a nice thought people like to throw around, but that’s not realistic. However, there are choices we can make that will lead to happiness in the future.

If we’re frustrated about something, we can step back and see if we’re truly being reasonable. Instead of complaining, we can create solutions and comfort those who are dealing with the same problem as us. If a situation is unhealthy, we can remove ourselves from it. If we can’t escape a situation (such as an illness or loss), we can choose how hard we fight to deal with it. I’m not saying we’re wrong to feel hurt or sad. We shouldn’t bottle those emotions up and put on a fake smile for everyone. But, we can choose to seek support. We can choose to schedule self care for ourselves. We can choose to research solutions. We can have enough humility to let unobtainable dreams go and celebrate those who get what we had wanted.

The only one that puts our lives on pause is us. Or worse, the only one that puts our lives in rewind is us. Live future-focused. There’s an old Chinese proverb that says, “The usefulness of a cup is its emptiness.” We’re each a cup. If our lives were completely full (perfect), there would be nothing for us to learn. There would be no more strength for us to gain. Any valuable experiences and lessons that would be poured into us would make our cup overflow and spill out. When we’re empty, we’re able to be filled with wisdom and hope. Being empty means we haven’t reached our full potential yet. There’s more out there for us. Emptiness is an opportunity, not a hardship.

People will continue to say, “It gets better,” because it’s a catchy phrase. But, I hope you know that “it” doesn’t get better. You do.


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